Misconceptions About Withholding Information

Many of you, especially if you are a professional coach or are working with one, are familiar with the notion of "creating your own reality." It is based on the Law of Attraction, meaning that which is like its self is drawn. It is considered a "law" because it is universal and consistent; it works the same way for everyone whether you are conscious of it or not.

Thomas Leonard, known as the "grandfather" of personal life and business coaching, coined the term "irresistible attraction." The Law of Attraction is irresistible because it is magnetic and automatic, if you are focused and clear. It allows you to attract anything from a new love relationship or prospective clients to a new residence, job, career or car into your life. On the surface this sounds great until you realize that the *quality* of these attractions (i.e., whether you like what you attract or not) depends on you.

What are you attracting into your life? Some of you are attracting what you don’t want and you don’t know what to do about it.

One of my clients, a new business owner (we’ll call him Jim), realized that he can’t do everything himself if he wants to have a life outside of his business. So, Jim decided that it’s time to bring in some laborers. He had never been a manager or an employer before and was somewhat uncomfortable with the process. Up until now, he had only engaged one independent contractor. Jim learned about the local, state, and federal requirements and began recruiting for part-time help. (He believed that this would be a better choice than engaging workers from a temporary agency.) There were a hand-full of applicants and he selected one. She came highly recommended, was bright and a quick study; however, it soon became clear what she wasn’t committed to the work.

At first, my client did what everyone does: he blamed the employee without taking into account that like attracts like and we each need to be willing to look in the mirror and take responsibility for our piece of it. Most people have a difficult time with this critical part of the attraction process without the guidance of a trusted coach. In this case, I became the mirror. I could sense that Jim had a sincere desire to hire great employees to help him with his workload and there was also some resistance getting in his way. It appeared to me that, on a feeling level, he really didn’t want the potential challenges that come with managing others.

Bingo! That was it. Jim, a man who prefers harmony to confrontation, admitted that he had heard so many horror stories from others about how time-consuming and potentially expensive it is to solve employee problems that he truly didn’t relish having employees. In other words, *he* wasn’t fully committed to being an employer!

Jim was not completely in alignment with his goal. His thoughts were directed to wanting an employee, but his *feelings* did not congruently support his desire. Remember this important equation: your thoughts + your feelings + your actions = your goals. As long as one of these is out of alignment, you will not be happy with your results.

Armed with this new insight, together with periodic coaching check-ins, Jim could consciously make the necessary inner adjustments to stop attracting what he didn’t want and start attracting the perfect employee which he did speedily!

If you look outside of yourself to find the reason for your disappointments, you will not be able to make a swift course correction. Simply observe what needs to change and shift gears. A race car driver knows it’s useless to waste precious time blaming the track, weather conditions, or another driver. It is up to him (or her) to adjust *now.*

It’s just as useless to *blame* yourself. See if any of these statements sound familiar:
- It takes a long time for me to *get* it
- I’m not good at visualizing (focusing, concentrating, feeling, etc.)
- I’m obviously not smart enough (good enough, worthy enough, etc.)
- I’m too impatient
- I don’t have enough will-power.

These thoughts will keep you in a holding pattern that will not allow you to live the life you are meant to have.

To help you begin to release your resistant thoughts and experience
profound results--using a gradual, effective, and consistent approach-- go to http://www.enhancedlife.com/contact_us.html and schedule a complementary (for new clients only!) coaching session and/or get additional support here http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0893343501/ qid%3D999142129/sr%3D2-1/ref%3Daps%5Fsr%5Fb%5F1%5F1/104-9186721-7603134. (If this link doesn't work, please copy and paste it into your browser.)

© 2004 Barbara McRae

EnhancedLife Coaching, LLC is proud to be affiliated with The Ken Blanchard Companies®. Our clients include individuals, small businesses, Fortune 500 companies, professional associations, non-profit organizations, and governmental agencies in the US and Europe. For further information contact: barbara@enhancedlife.com or call us at 719-475-7524.