Top 8 Ways to Make Great Choices
How do you make choices? Do you trust your ability to choose
well? Most of us have never been taught to make wise decisions
in our work or personal lives. Part of the coaching process
is helping my clients expand their options that allows them
to make much better choices. Below you’ll find my favorite
key questions.
1. What are my options?
Asking this question puts you in a resourceful state. If
you can only arrive at two options, know that you are limiting
yourself. Most people choose between option A or B. Keep going
until you have three options. Five is better! If you hear
yourself saying, “I have no options,” recognize
that you are simply not aware of them yet. Expand your options
by gathering information, talking with others, or working
with a coach.
2. Take each option and ask, “Then what would probably
happen?”
Be strategic. Take your top three options and use your imagination
to focus in great detail on what would happen if you acted
on this choice. See what unfolds and feel the impact as if
you have already experienced this selection. Take it well
into the future by asking, “Then what?’ at least
two more times. Take time to be aware of the worst-case and
best-case scenarios. What would you do in each case? How would
that be for you? The result of even one choice has a domino
effect on ourselves and others. Our lives are shaped by our
choices every day.
3. How does this decision fit with me, my values, and my
purpose?
For example, if integrity is important to you, you could ask
yourself, “Does this choice I’m about to make
cause me to make a deposit into my personal integrity account?”
Check for congruence between what you say you believe and
what you actually do. Being clear about who you are and what
is important for you allows you to make better decisions.
4. Am I trusting my intuition?
Your intuition is your personal guide to help you sense what
is right for you. To access it, determine how you feel about
the decision. Be sure to check in with your heart, not your
stomach. Research by the HeartMath Institute indicates that
the true seat of the mind is in the heart. I recommend that
you practice using your intuition on minor decisions to build
your confidence in intimately knowing how your intuition shows
up for you. It’s important for you to be able to distinguish
between fear and intuition. Access a memory from the past
when you made a successful decision and remember how that
felt.
5. Am I setting my ego aside and listening to my Higher Power?
By accessing your intuition, you are tapping into your inner
wisdom. For further guidance, especially for critical decisions,
consider going beyond yourself to make sure your ego-mind
isn’t interfering. This step is a very personal one.
You will know how best to do this. Some people pray, dream,
meditate, or commune with nature. Be sure to listen long enough
to hear your answers.
6. What would I do if I were bolder (notice that I didn’t
say “reckless”)?
Look at your life to see if you settle rather than focusing
on what you really want. Be willing to negotiate. One of my
mottos is, “If you don’t ask, you don’t
get!” Many people have an internal thermostat that causes
them to cool down whenever they go beyond their comfort zone.
Do you find that you stop at a certain level of success? Remember,
there is no failure, only feedback.
7. Do I really expect a positive outcome?
Where is your focus? If your orientation is negative and
you worry about the outcome, you will be giving energy to
what you don’t want to happen. This is how we unwittingly
sabotage our own success. Often we do this because of erroneously
thinking that we are protecting ourselves from disappointment
and pain should things not turn out to our liking. Once you
are this far along in the decision-making process, you are
much better off acting as if your desired outcome is already
assured.
8. What regrets will I have about my choice?
This question can relate to missed opportunities or to regrets
stemming from integrity glitches. Be willing to look at the
pattern of your past choices. These choices mirror (to yourself
and others) your true personal thoughts and feelings—that
is, how you really view yourself and the world. A litmus test
for some people is, “How does this choice fit with what
I’m teaching my children [or those I care about]?”
Identify limiting beliefs that are getting in the way of your
making great choices. If you are not able to clearly see your
patterns, ask a trusted friend or get a qualified coach to
help you.
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