TOP WAYS OTHERS TURN US OFF
Most people talk without focusing much on HOW they do it.
You open
your mouth and talk happens! Maybe, we suspect that we could
do it
better, but we get distracted by the lack of communication
skills
of others. Here are some of the top ways others turn us off
and<
thereby distance our relationships:
1. They talk too much about themselves and all that you say
gives
them an excuse to talk more about themselves.
2. They see life primarily through their eyes; they aren't
willing
to step into someone else's shoes; Henry Ford said, "If
there is any
one secret of success, it lies in the ability to get the other
person's point of view and see things from that person's angle
as
well as from your own."
3. They hear what you say based on THEIR own filters and
assumptions
instead of hearing what you actually said! For example, you
say
maroon; they hear "red." You say "no";
they hear "maybe." You say
NOW; they hear "when THEY get around to it." Obviously,
listening to
What is actually said is easier than dealing with the magnified
meaning.
4. They don't respond to what YOU said--they keep talking
about what
THEY are thinking about. In effect, they're showing you that--you
don't matter or they don't care!
5. They don't get that you heard them and understand; they
go on and
on as if YOU don't get it. They are more interested in following
their
own agenda than having a true dialogue! This can happen with
clients
and coworkers--as well as with family and friends.
[Adapted from the late Thomas Leonard's Top Ten list on the
same
subject.]
(c) 2005 Barbara McRae, MCC. All rights reserved.
If you wish to reprint this article, please contact me at
barbara@enhancedlife.com. Thank you!
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