The Overlooked Goal
THE OVERLOOKED GOAL by Barbara McRae, MCC
Most of you are probably already working on your goals that
you have set for this year. I wonder how many of you have
made being peaceful one of your primary goals? We talk about
peace during the Winter holidays and even this year's Olympic's
theme in Torino, Italy, is peace. But how many of you have
even thought of connecting the two words "peace"
and "goal" together?
Know that when you are not feeling peaceful inside, when
you are feeling
impatient, frustrated or overwhelmed you cannot simultaneously
feel
calm, confident, and in command of yourself.
CLARITY LEAVES AS SOON AS YOU FEEL NEGATIVE EMOTIONS.
When you spend time thinking about negative scenarios in
your head, you
are harboring negative emotions in your body. Your feelings
"flag" your
emotional state. Yet, most people pay no attention to their
internal
feedback system, even though you can count on it being reliable.
So, why aren't more people aware of their built-in guidance
system? Here
are a few reasons why this feedback is often ignored.
(1) We have been conditioned to ignore our feelings, giving
preference
to our intellect;
(2) We are accustomed to having negative feelings and/or
don't believe we
can manage them.
Thus, it seems normal for us to worry, “awfulize,”
and feel anxious. One
of my clients, an intelligent, creative and attractive woman
in her 30s,
reported that as a result of our work together--for the FIRST
TIME in
her life--she no longer feels anxious when meeting new people,
working
with colleagues, or embarking on new creative projects!
In making peace your goal, you feel more calm and peaceful
particularly
during the holidays when you find yourself tapping into your
reserves of
time, money, and love.
PEACEFUL PEOPLE ARE IN TUNE WITH THEIR OWN GUIDANCE SYSTEM
Thoughts cause you to experience varying levels of a "feel
good" or "feel
bad" state. If you entertain thoughts about others, such
as "they have it
in for me" or "this isn't fair" or "I
got screwed," I can guarantee that
you will not be feeling love, peace, and joy in that moment.
It's
impossible. Fear and love cannot simultaneously coexist. Not
only that,
but you will duplicate more experiences in line with your
dominant thoughts
and feelings.
Peaceful people ask themselves, "What am I thinking?"
and connect the dots between these specific thoughts and the current emotional
state. You can
choose to shift your thoughts to something that makes you
feel peaceful.
PEACEFUL PEOPLE TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR THEMSELVES, NOT EVERYONE
ELSE
Peaceful people take full responsibility for their own thought,
feelings,
words, and behaviors. Peaceful people acknowledge their negative
thoughts,
but they don't take up residence in negativity. They're mentally
tough
and tenacious about reconnecting to their true self. They
focus on peace,
joy, love, optimism, and courage instead of fear, resentment,
confusion,
anxiety or self-pity.
Peaceful people are not tempted to want to change someone
else's behavior
or world view. They remind themselves that they wouldn't want
someone
else to force them to be different. They give others the same
courtesy and
freedom they'd want for themselves.
PEACEFUL PEOPLE FOCUS ON EACH STEP ONE AT A TIME
Have you ever sat across someone who shoveled meat, bread,
and vegetables
into their mouth at the same time and then swallowed? How
can they enjoy
the taste of anything? Not many people eat that way, but many
are quick to
multi-task. We stuff our schedules and lives full with everything
at once.
Peaceful people know to compartmentalize: when doing one task,
they are not
thinking of something else.
Peaceful people have learned to check in with themselves
several times
a day and ask, "Where am I right now? Am I in the moment,
or am I in the
past, or the future?" They make sure their focus is in
the present moment.
Know that by totally focusing on the amazing potential of
the NOW, you
cannot also feel sad or depressed.
(c) Barbara McRae, MCC. All rights reserved.
If you wish to reprint this article, please contact me at
barbara@enhancedlife.com. Thank you!
© 2006 Barbara McRae. All Rights Reserved. www. Enhancedlife.com
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