Make Change Your Success Partner
Regardless of whether the change you are facing is desired
or undesired, consider treating change as a welcome partner.
When you partner with change, you have much more influence
over the outcome. The reasons that change seems so difficult
for many of us are found in the six predictable stages of
change. Think about a change you’ve attempted recently
or one that you are considering now as you get familiar with
the stages outlined below.
If you don’t know what the stages are, you will be less
trusting of the process and less equipped to move through
each stage easily. For some, these stages are transparent.
For others, fear can get triggered and block the natural process
of change. That’s when many people give up; ironically,
often they quit just prior to experiencing their most profound
breakthroughs.
1. LOSS OF FOCUS: This stage corresponds to the initial realization
that change may be necessary or beneficial. Most people experience
this as being overwhelmed. There is fuzziness of thought and
maybe even a sense of paralysis. You feel as though your mind
is temporarily short-circuiting, or it intermittently goes
blank.
2. DENIAL AND DELAY: Next, the mind defends against the change
by denying that anything needs to change, that anything has
really changed, or that anything is going to actually change.
Denial is resistance that appears to protect you from the
impact of change. You may be tempted to change the subject
or to get up and leave, if you’re discussing the need
to change with another person. When you’re alone, signs
of denial include mental reluctance to dwell on thoughts of
needed change.
3. CREATIVE TENSION: You have committed to the change and
are now in transition. There is a gap between the old (past,
ingrained behavior patterns) and the new (preferred behaviors).
This is the creative tension stage. It feels chaotic and unsettling.
It’s like remodeling your home: the necessary dismantling
process can be messy and unpleasant. Uncertainty may settle
in as well, because the desired results are nowhere in sight
yet. Acknowledge any discomfort that you are feeling and keep
true to your vision, your preferred outcome.
4. NEW TERRITORY: Now you are treading on unfamiliar new
territory, and you feel uncertain of yourself. This stage
can be intensely exciting or frightening; fear and excitement
are merely opposite sides of the coin. Stay motivated by building
a bridge between where you are now (problem state) and where
you want to be (resource state). The bridge will help you
gain the courage to risk making new and unfamiliar choices
one step at a time, in alignment with your desired changes.
Keep focused on the step immediately in front of you.
5. PERSONAL POWER: You realize that you are the source of
your personal power. You are the one you’ve been waiting
for. You are the intervention. You have the power to define
who you are and how you want to respond to change, as well
as the ability to make new choices, let go of old habits,
and develop new ones. No one can do it for you. And even though
you may still stumble at times, you know that you have everything
needed to support yourself—including the choice to enlist
others to help you along this journey.
6. BREAKTHROUGH REALIZED: In this last stage, you experience
success. You have dissolved the blocks limiting your growth
(blocks found in the earlier stages), and now you’re
soaring as a result of your progress. Be sure to celebrate
this event. Many people tend to minimize this stage because
change no longer seems like a big deal. It is! Just think
back to how you felt at the beginning. Celebrate. Give yourself
credit for persistence, and taste the sweetness of success.
Copyright © 2004 by Barbara McRae. All rights reserved.
If you wish to reprint this article, please contact barbara@enhancedlife.com.
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