SURFING THE WAVES OF LIFE
Life can be likened to surfing. It can be rough and full
of strife, a smooth or a thrilling ride. Which is it for you?
Is your workplace or personal life mostly a place of drama
or fun? Can you imagine easily catching the waves and enjoying
a smooth ride?
A wise old man greeted an unknown traveler just outside the
city gate, whereupon the traveler asked, “How are the
people in this city? Do they treat each other well or does
conflict reign?” The wise one replied, “How did
you find the people in the city you just left?” “Terrible,
“answered the man, “there was much turmoil, greed,
and hardening of the heart.” The old man nodded and
said, “Then you will find that the people here are the
same.”
It should come as no surprise that your external experience
is a reflection of your inner state. When you are discontent
or at odds with others, chances are that the same atmosphere
exists within you. If you don’t feel right with the
world, look within. Have you ever noticed that when you’re
in a bad mood, others are often more critical of you and you
get stuck behind more slow traffic or in more long grocery
store lines?
I recently had just such an experience at a class I was taking.
I was feeling less than wonderful about myself and instead
of getting the usual encouraging responses from the instructor,
I felt unjustly criticized. After three occurrences in a two-hour
period, I knew I had to do something about it. Knowing that
others are a reflection of myself, I checked within and asked,
“How am I contributing to this situation?” Then
I realized I was magnetizing to myself from the instructor
exactly what I was feeling on the inside. I was being too
critical!
This important insight helped me take command of my own mental
state. I consciously tapped into my inner power and changed
my thinking. I choose to be compassionate with myself and
my instructor. Consequently, I was able to restore my inner
peace without blaming anyone, including myself. Afterwards,
I had a much better experience in class. You see, proficiently
surfing the waves of life doesn’t mean that you have
no challenges; it means that you stay aware of what you are
thinking and feeling, to help yourself return to being calm
and collected whenever the signs of distress appear .
We can all choose to smoothly navigate the energy of a seemingly
threatening wave—no matter what it represents—without
a wipeout (falling off the surfboard). Where is your own restlessness
coming from? Maybe it’s time to cut back (surfer term)
to reposition yourself or take a time out. What do you really
want to experience? If it’s to have harmony and peace,
then what are you willing to do to have that? Remember, we
are not in control of others, so the focus needs to be on
ourselves.
Setting an intention will help. The word “intention”
comes from the Latin word meaning “to stretch forward.”
When you set an intention, you make a declaration in the present
for what you want to experience in the future. It brings the
future into the present rather than dragging the past behind
you. Intending is so much more powerful than wanting, wishing,
or hoping. Be sure to have your intention clearly state your
desire (inner calm, integrity, competence, whatever); this
will cause you to be mindful and determined to do whatever
it takes in order to move you forward toward your stated outcome.
To practice setting intentions, read “Less Drama, More
Fun.” (Click here: http://www.amazon.com)
Intentions are powerful IF you are truly committed to your
desire. When you set an intention, you are declaring that
you are determined to go the extra mile, to do whatever must
be done to attain your goal—even if it feels difficult
or uncomfortable. Do it anyway. The more you do it, the more
comfortable it will get.
In my coaching practice, I find that many people stop themselves
from making progress when they run up against their invisible
mental or emotional inner walls. This is what is happening
when you tell yourself, “This is as far as I can go;
it’s just too hard to do. I’ve never been able
to do this well anyway.” Or you may justify to yourself
why you don’t have to do it anymore: “Why should
I be the one to always have to change!” Another pitfall
is the tendency to feel the need to be right, “I’m
right and he (she) is wrong or at fault.” Holding on
to negative opinions of yourself or others will not help your
situation. Opinions and beliefs are like Velcro, not superglue.
These things may be sticking to you now, but you CAN take
them off.
Your life surfing skills will not improve if you are unwilling
to be truly honest with yourself. You need to take your blinders
off. You need to be able to see 20/20 and get feedback from
others who can give you an objective perspective. Consider
this: You cannot see clearly through goggles that are smudged
or scratched. You will only see distortions. The choice to
see clearly is yours. Are you looking for evidence to validate
your limited view or are you willing to look for the good,
the opportunity to handle the truth of what you are seeing
within you?
To help you keep your focus on what you can influence, here
are some questions for self-reflection:
What kind of waves (people or situations) cause you to lose
your balance? Be honest. Is there a pattern or theme?
How do you handle these tough waves currently? Is it working
for you? Are you happy with your responses and the results
you get?
How would you like to handle these waves in the future? What
would you need to do differently to be able to do this? Who
would you need to become?
STATE YOUR INTENTION (it’s your decree; make your word
law!):
My intention is to _______________________________________________________.
Congratulations! You are on your way to feeling stoked as
you catch that awesome wave. Enjoy the ride.
Copyright © 2003 by Barbara McRae. All
rights reserved. If you wish to reprint this article, please
contact me at barbara@enhancedlife.com.
Thank you!
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